“I’ve found a reason for me to change who I used to be, a reason to start over new; the reason is you.” – Hoobastank – The Reason
Do you have reasons? What does that even mean? How many times haven’t you heard ‘there is a reason for everything.’ Then we hear about good people getting swamped with unfortunate challenges. Do we look for the problems, or do they come looking for us? We will never know. I’ll tell you a true story. I once hired a man who we will call John to do my floors. After his quote, I went ahead and gave him the job. He looked young and full of energy. During the time he was in my apt, we got to know each other. One day he as we talked, he went on to tell me that he had just started the business and worked hard to invest in the machinery required. He spoke of his two kids and his wife with bright eyes and a huge smile. “I love my wife,” he said. “I could have never been anyone without her.” The job took about 3 days, and on the last day of work, he brought his older son. He was in his late teens and a very handsome young man. They both went on conversing about life, college, and the future. He also told me that he had another son, who was the surprise baby after years of no more kids. I congratulated him and wished him much success. His professionalism and his great work were impressive, so I had no doubt he would do well.
After about a year, one of my neighbor’s asked me for his number. I gave it to him and was surprised later to find that John had never called him back. This surprised me, so I gave him a call myself. Still no answer, I left a message as well, hoping to hear back. A few days went by, and I finally got a callback. He sounded different, and his jokes and laughter were gone. I didn’t read too much into it. He must not be feeling well, I thought. I told him about my neighbor, and, with an apology, he said he would swing by in a few days. The following week he called me again, and we made arrangements. He came over a week later, and I noticed he had lost a lot of weight. He was not a heavy man, to begin with. He looked drained. When he finished with the neighbor, I asked him to come over for a coffee. We sat down, and I asked him about his family. I can still remember his watery eyes as he looked at me to give an answer. Seeing his sadness, I thought, “there must be a reason.” -I figured he might have gotten divorced. After a few minutes, he asked me if I recalled an accident that happened in his town that made big news. I said, “Oh sure, I remember.” Then he looked at me and said, “That was my wife and my youngest son.” Oh, dear God,” I replied. Then I thought, “What do I say about something like that?” All I could do at that time is agree with him as to the question. WHY? What is the reason God allowed this? He explained his wife was in a coma for months and had just recently come out of it. She was, however, bedridden and not able to move or speak. She had a feeding tube and needed him to care for her now. His dream of the business was put in the back burner. His eyes gazing down to the floor suddenly looked up at me. My boy died on impact. His beautiful nine-year-old who was beginning to hang out with him on some of the jobs. His little boy and his wife. How; why; I didn’t understand. At that moment, the phrase “There must be a reason.” was oblivion. It’s just impossible that there could be any reason for such a thing to happen? It makes no sense, and told myself to please refrain from thinking, “Everything happens for a reason.”. There’s no way in hell there’s a purpose for such a terrible thing to happen to such a young and beautiful family. When he got up to leave, I offered a friendly hug goodbye. He broke down in my arms. I still get goosebumps when I think about it. He said something that will stay with me forever and a day. He said this. “Sandra, never forget that there’s a reason for everything. The world is full of people with my stories worse than mine. I had my son for nine years, and he lives in me. My wife will walk again, even if it’s baby steps. I live for her now; the rest is not promised.
It’s been a while since I’ve seen or spoken to John. I pray he and his family are moving forward amidst this tragedy. It goes to prove, we will never know the answer to ‘why.’ Maybe the world needs people who have survived severe hardship like my friend John. Who’s to say that one day, we will go through a significant world catastrophe. No one wishes for something terrible to happen, and God willing, we are becoming more aware of what the universe needs from us. In my humble opinion, only a few do right by our planet and its inhabitants. The world is at a standstill, and we are facing despair as the years go by. It’s conceivable that we will one day pay for the harm we have caused our planet. Then we will ask ourselves, “What’s the reason.”
