Each of us has felt alone and confused at one point in our life. In those moments, self-doubt consumes our thoughts which in turn makes us question everything, including God. Suddenly, the natural rhythm of His plan becomes warped by our need to control it. We don’t listen to the messages; we don’t see the signs; we ignore the lessons from the pain, the hardships, and the wrongs.
The argument of determining our fate is a never-ending one. I, for example, always believed we design our destiny. I lived years attempting to find happiness and success in life. I fought the natural path to my purpose and surrendered to what I thought was my destiny. If we hold on to that belief, it will deter us from moving forward and finding what is truly meant for us. We are quick to make excuses for what is really a lack of interest in developing ourselves. Do you spend more time taking the role of fixer and trying to convince others what you think they should do? We each have to find our own purpose in this life. We convince ourselves that love means standing by the person, praying they make the changes we think they lack to complete the relationship.
Why is it so hard to recognize that the best way to help someone is by example? The phrase may be overused but sometimes, keeping things simple is the best way. Let’s not bang our heads against the wall so much. Take a break from wanting to be in control of other people’s lives. It’s their job to do that, not yours. Coaxing someone to improve their lives is easy. If reform does not happen, we justify it by saying, “They just didn’t listen,” and we move on to the next broken person. It’s a terrible thing, I tell you. It’s too bad we let our stubbornness and laziness be what is determining our life.
Admitting our bad habits, our disregard for our well-being, and our part in our failures cannot be forgotten or put on the back burner. We continuously advise others on how they can find themselves when in reality, we are the ones that are lost. What can I tell you? I learned this lesson the hard way. I wanted to fix people, and I couldn’t. It took way too long to let go of my ego and begin embracing my flaws. I need to recognize I don’t have the answers. I am not a fixer, and I cannot be a cheerleader. I will listen, I will be your friend, I will hold your hand, I will cry with you. All of this I can do. But know this, I cannot make you grow. I can only improve myself and do it with conviction. I gave the responsibility for my happiness to others and took the easy way out. Like I said at the beginning. “The root of all evil is laziness.”
Sandra Acevedo