How can it be that life takes us through paths that we are unlikely to walk ourselves? We question life’s choices, whether we make them or not. We are fast to blame others, all while internally knowing we are the culprit. Most of us can remember the excitement we felt as a child when we crossed the adults that knew better. It was a thrill going for that jar of cookies when told not to. We look around, grab one, and while enjoying it, mom comes along and puts us in our place—first, the thrill, then the payback. I’ve found that those lousy habits stay, and as adults, God forbid anyone telling us what we are doing is wrong. As for me, my ego was in control of that.
I learned this lesson way too late.
Indeed, we all should take responsibility for our lives, but we find justification in blaming others when we begin to live the consequences of our wrong choices. Then one day, we come across that one person, the one person who will be the answer to everything. We put our lives in their hands, swearing they will be there always, and in an ideal world, that might be true, but we do not live in an ideal world, and we are not perfect people. Many of us find love that lasts a lifetime. Unfortunately, for most of us, this is not the case. As sad as it may be, lasting love takes more than just being there. Devotion is not only expressed by being loving and faithful; devotion also means putting aside our need to always be right. Do you ever wonder about the power the ego has? If we let it run free, it will grab on to us with no compassion.
The ego should be kept sealed and not delivered. It is probably the one thing that will keep us from discovering the good that was meant for us. Facing your ego head-on is very difficult. Rarely do we admit it’s dominating us. So how can we learn to control it instead? That’s the million-dollar question. It may be that it’s just too much work or you don’t see the value for you. Yes, it is, and the only way to continue growing and finding your purpose must be done.
The hardest thing in any relationship is looking at each other and admitting you are in a toxic bond. My mother had a motto, “La costumbre es mas fuerte que el amor,” which simply translates to “Comfort is stronger than love.” We stay in bad relationships because we are afraid of being alone and starting over. It’s comfortable, and it’s what we know. Life becomes habitual, and even if both are unhappy, it’s more comfortable to linger on the right decision and keep trying to change your partner to your idea of an ideal person.
My personal experience with my ego is not one I want to relive. I often perceived myself as the victim, as if I was the only one suffering. With the help of some great therapists, I understood why. I was diagnosed with Bipolar in 2019. As I processed this information, I decided to learn more, so I bought books, searched, and drenched myself in getting better. Yes, I’ve had hard times, and I admit that I thought I had all the answers, but I had it all wrong.
I’ll end it with a quote from one of my favorites Kahlil Gibran.
“No human relation gives one possession in another—every two souls are absolutely different. In friendship or in love, the two side by side raise hands together to find what one cannot reach alone.”